Author; Jayamma Abanobi
You are despaired and unhappy. You have slipped again even after the promise to stop. You lay aside and wonder; Will I remain like this forever? Let me help you and answer NO! The passionate quest to quit por’x’ is the desire of so many youths in our times. The billion dollar industry is responsible for broken homes, despaired hearts, and relationships that do not last. It also plays its part in the chronic addiction that follows- Masturbation. But you’re not alone in the fight to quit this monster!
Take A Bold Step- The First Step To Quit
The first step in totaling quitting bad stuff is realizing it’s dangerous effect on your life. Realize you cannot continue an addict forever. You have to first of all realize the damage it does- To your conscience, your relationship, your mental health, your spirituality and of course your productivity. The bold step in realizing its damaging effect on you must be devoid of blames on anyone, guilt or personal pity. You must realize it is a battle that must be fought and won. You either win or you win better! It must begin with taking a pen and writing down your plans to quit, your resolutions to stop. Do not fail to write in detail how por’x’ is affecting your life negatively. Writing down your plans to stop goes a long way in reminding you how you can actually discipline yourself not to browse explicit and illicit websites. If you believe in God which I recommend you should, take a moment and pray on that paper where you made your writings, pray on it, pray help comes in helping you realize your ultimate goal- Stop por’x’!\
Tell Someone; Get an Accountability Partner- The Second Step To Quit
Yes! Someone has to know! There is a sense of relief when you tell someone about your struggles. My recommendation is that you tell an elder; someone possibly older, with life’s experiences at his or her finger tip. Someone who is trustworthy, and of good character. If you are religious you can meet your spiritual head for guidance. When you meet them, tell them your struggles, tell them the steps you have taken; if you are with your resolutions and goals written down, you can show them to prove to them you are not joking in your resolute resolve to quit por’x’. Tell them you are ready to stop. Sit back and listen to what they have to offer. If you are privileged enough to get a good one, you can persuade them to be watchdogs on your behalf. They provide guidance and with Apps readily available for addictions like por’x’ you can persuade them to register as accountability partners in these Apps. It works this way; They register with their emails and are directly linked to your browsing history. Anytime you visit a por’x’website, they are notified and they immediately respond.
Get Rid of Physical Triggers/ Materials- The Third Step To Stop
To totally be free, you must get rid of any physical triggers and materials that push you into the temptation of watching bad stuff. These materials can come in form of novels, movies, wallpapers, nude pictures and photos in your mobile devices or computers. Get rid of them for good by putting them in the trash. That’s where they belong! LOL
Never Give Room For Loneliness and Depression- The Fourth Step
Loneliness is a time where your real self is defined. What you do when no one is around is what defines you. However, loneliness affords wild thoughts to creep into your mind. These wild thoughts can come bringing in thoughts of sex and stuff. You must get rid of it. Getting rid of it can come in two forms;
- Avoid loneliness, make out time to spend with friends and colleagues
- Connect to a higher power
With regards to the second point above, you must connect to a higher power- God. Knowing fully well that your addiction is somewhat spiritual, connecting to a higher spirit superimposes the weaker spirit-YOU. If you do not believe this, you can stop at the first point. If you do believe, you can try this one out. Take out time to either read a spiritual book, play a spiritual song, or pray. Do something beyond the physicals.
Depression can also deceptively lead you into slipping back into viewing bad stuff; perhaps you are unhappy or angry about something and you feel stressed out- the deceit there is that it gives you a leverage to view por’x’ as a way of overcoming the stress and frustration that comes. Hence, watch out for your response when you’re stressed out, depressed or angry. Do not yield to it, assure yourself you’re great and bigger than por’x’.
Use Por’x’ Blockers and Apps- The Fifth Step
It is a welcomed development that there are apps and software online that can help you in your fight to overcome. They serve as useful tools that can help.
See por’x’ as Something Irritating and See Yourself as Too Good To Stoop Low for por’x’- The Sixth Step
It is time to reorient your mind towards por’x’. I believe you must have noticed that pornstars act to create fantasies and make you feel everything is alright but it’s a mirage! A good number of them are not even happy with what they are doing. Hello dear, you are too good for watching bad stuff! See yourself as too clean to stoop down low; watching nude people act what they do not really enjoy. Learn to value yourself and see yourself as really good.
Engage in Other Productive Activities- The Seventh Step
Start doing other things you enjoy doing. It could be sports, it could be writing, gaming, reading, singing, making videos, talking to friends, hiking, jogging, swimming, writing codes; anything that can keep you occupied, just do it. Keep yourself busy and develop your mind. It helps put away thoughts that can make you relapse.
Get A Partner- The Final Step
It is a known fact that people who are addicted to porn, rarely keep good relationships or rather shy away from them. Its reason is not far-fetched as por’x’provides a false impression of satisfaction. Though personally, I do not encourage pre-marital sex, it is good to get into healthy relationships with the opposite sex that can lead to marriage. Build friendship that stand on love and trust and you are always reminded that someone loves you and cares for you.
You are not alone in this fight because there are millions of other people who are struggling too, but you know what? You have overcome.
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Jayamma Abanobi is a youth blogger passionate about writing. He can be reached via email firstname.lastname@example.org